Steps for performing Loving Kindness meditation for someone who has hurt or harmed us
Here are the steps you need to follow to perform this meditation:
Step 1) Remember to use phrases like the ones listed below for this practice. Choose ones that resonate with you deeply.
- May you be happy
- May you be peaceful
- May you live with ease
Step 2) Synchronize the practice with your breath:
- While inhaling say “May you be”
- While exhaling say “happy”
Step 3) Now, focus your attention exclusively on yourself. Remember that you too deserve unconditional love, kindness and happiness just like all other living beings.
Step 4) Remember that you are forgiving someone because you love yourself more.
Step 5) Repeat the three phrases of Loving Kindness for your own self
Step 6) Consciously expand the tender feeling in your heart that arises as you use these phrases for yourself
Step 7) Bring to mind someone who has hurt or harmed you ; someone for whom a sense of hurt, resentment or ill will
naturally arises in your heart
Step 8) Use loving kindness phrases for that person, wishing for that person what you wish for yourself
Step 9) Repeat step #3 till step #8 as many times as you are able
Script for practicing Loving Kindness meditation for someone who has hurt or harmed us
I am waiting for the recording studio in my area to open so that I could record this guided meditation and then make it available on my website for others. In the meantime, here is my script for you to use, if you find it helpful.
Welcome to the loving kindness meditation. We will do this meditation for someone who has hurt or harmed us. [PAUSE]
Take a moment to let your body settle in a comfortable sitting position. Relax the whole body. Keep the head, neck and back erect but not rigid. Keep the hands comfortably placed on the lap or on the knees.
Intentionally cultivate an attitude of patience, gentleness and kindness towards yourself.
Allow your eyes to gently close and tune in to feeling of the breath flowing in and out of the body. Focus your attention on the sensation of the breath moving past the nostrils [PAUSE] or on the sensation of the breath moving into the belly lifting it during each in breath and receding gently on each outbreath. Follow the breath as it comes in and goes out.
[PAUSE]
Find comfort in your posture and settle into it. As you sit up with dignity as a mountain, allow your body to be as soft and relaxed as possible. With every out breath, let your body become more soft and more relaxed.
Now, focus your attention exclusively on yourself. Remember that you too deserve unconditional love, kindness and happiness just like all other living beings. You are choosing to forgive someone who has hurt you because you love yourself more.
I will now repeat some traditional phrases of loving kindness. In the short period of silence that follows after each phrase, repeat it a few times to yourself and breathe in qualities of warmth, kindness, compassion or love for yourself. Do this with all your heart. If you notice that your mind has wandered off, gently bring it back to this practice.
May I be happy
[60 SECONDS PAUSE]
May I be peaceful
[60 SECONDS PAUSE]
May I live with ease
[60 SECONDS PAUSE]
Remember that you are choosing to forgive someone who has hurt you because you love yourself more.
Now, call to mind someone who has hurt or harmed you, someone for whom a sense of hurt, resentment or ill will naturally arises in your heart. Get an image of that person. Say the person’s name to yourself and offer the phrases of loving kindness to them, wishing for them what you wish for yourself.
I will now repeat some traditional phrases of loving kindness. In the short period of silence that follows after each phrase, repeat it a few times to yourself and do this with all of your heart. Start with a small flame of the intent behind each phrase. Attend to it and nurture it. Slowly get more fuel for the tender feeling that arises in your heart as you offer loving kindness to the chosen person and allow it to expand and to gain momentum. If you notice that your mind has wandered off, gently bring it back to this practice.
May you be happy
[60 SECONDS PAUSE]
May you be peaceful
[60 SECONDS PAUSE]
May you live with ease
[60 SECONDS PAUSE]
Repeat these phrases towards yourself and towards the person who has hurt or harmed you. Do this with all your heart. Get more fuel for the tender feeling that arises in your heart as you offer loving kindness to the chosen person and allow it to expand and to gain momentum. If you notice that your mind has wandered off, gently bring it back to this practice.
May you be happy
[60 SECONDS PAUSE]
May you be peaceful
[60 SECONDS PAUSE]
May you live with ease
[60 SECONDS PAUSE]
We now come to an end of this meditation. When you are ready; you can open your eyes.
