I started off 2024 by participating in a 1 – year program offered by Sage-ing International that was based on Stephen Levine’s book “A Year to Live”. I was planning on publishing blog posts once a month throughout the year sharing my experiences and insights while working through this program. However; I was unable to do so. As I stated in my previous post, that intention proved harder to realize than I expected.
The truth is, it’s extraordinarily difficult to keep the awareness of mortality front and center even though I spend some time volunteering at a local Hospice House. I learned that it’s not about perfectly sustaining the awareness of death—it’s about returning to it again and again, gently but persistently, like breath in meditation.
Despite the ebb and flow of my attention, this year gave me gifts I could not have anticipated.
I learned to work in three essential domains: the Practical, Relational, and Spiritual. I updated my Will and Health Directive documents and thought carefully about how I wanted my memorial to feel—not as an act of morbid obsession, but as a gesture of clarity and compassion for those I will eventually leave behind.
I engaged in the deeply emotional practice of Life Review, moving through the decades of my life with gratitude and forgiveness of self and others. Spiritually, I found grounding in the soft-belly meditation that was guided by Stephen himself. I do that practice on a regular basis and find it to be very calming. It has allowed me to sleep better especially when I do this practice lying down in bed at night.
There was a profound conclusion to this program when we met in December 2025. Ruby Grad from Sage-ing International led us into a guided meditation into dying. It was a gentle but also profound experience where we let go of everything, as we would have to do when it was time for us to leave this mortal coil. After the meditation, there was a sharing session where some of us shared how it felt to us. We then had a final ritual to close the circle where she blew off a candle that she had started at the beginning of the class. We then bid each other farewell.
Even though the class ended in December 2024, what I carry with me now is subtle and enduring. I am less afraid. I am more present. I am more willing to be honest—with myself and with others. The fear of death hasn’t disappeared, but it has softened. And in that softening, life feels more spacious.
If you’ve ever felt a quiet inner nudge to turn toward this mystery we call death—not to dwell in fear, but to live more fully—I encourage you to participate in this virtual program offered by Sage-ing International. This practice is not about dying. It’s about living with less regret, more clarity, and deeper love.
Stephen Levine once wrote:
“If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting?”
I leave you with that question, as I continue to sit with it myself.
Thank you for reading, for witnessing, and for walking this path alongside me.
